✦ welcome to the world wide web ✦ you have reached a web site about nothing ✦ there is nothing here ✦ there has never been anything here ✦ thank you for visiting the nothing ✦ please tell a friend about the nothing ✦
★ A WEB SITE ABOUT NOTHING ★
★ est. 1997 · still about nothing · NEW!
👋 Welcome 2 My Home Page!!
Hi. Welcome to my home page. This page is about nothing.
Not "nothing yet." Nothing on purpose. You will not find content here. You will not find a point. You scrolled all the way down to the bottom of the entire Internet and found a guy with nothing to say, saying it in four different colors of Comic Sans.
Make yourself at home. There's nothing to do.
📢 What's New?
Nothing.
(Last updated: never. Check back never.)
🧐 Have You Ever Noticed…
The "close door" button in an elevator does nothing. You press it. Nothing. You press it harder, like you mean it this time. Still nothing. The doors close exactly when they were always going to. You had no power. You never had any power.
What is the deal with the last little sliver of soap? Too small to wash with, too big to throw away. So it just lives on the edge of the sink. For years. We are all quietly curating tiny soap museums.
We say "I'm five minutes away." We are not five minutes away. Everyone on the phone knows we are not five minutes away. And yet, every time, with total confidence: five minutes.
There is one single fry at the bottom of every bag. Nobody put it there. Nobody will eat it. It is the loneliest fry. It is, in many ways, this web site.
🚧UNDER CONSTRUCTION🚧
(it will never be finished — that's the point)
❓ Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is this web site about? A: Nothing.
Q: Okay, but really. A: Nothing. Really.
Q: When will you add real content? A: That would defeat the entire purpose.
Q: Is this a metaphor for something? A: No. It's a web site about nothing. Stop reading into it.